


a lei of stars for you

by iseekdaylight



Category: EXO (Band), NCT (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Reunions, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-14 10:47:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14134479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iseekdaylight/pseuds/iseekdaylight
Summary: “The nature of love is a funny thing. We must learn to love people for what they are, not for what we want them to be. If they are imperfect in our eyes, are we still capable of loving them?” - Erzulie, Once on this IslandThe last time Sehun and Jeonghan saw each other was four years ago. Now, they are in Hawaii. Sehun is the best man to his best friend's wedding, and Jeonghan is the wedding singer.





	1. Sehun

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt #:** 51  
>  **Prompt:** Ex-Lovers AU. It's been four years since they're broken up. Their lives have drifted apart, with different set of friends and priorities. One accidental meeting in Hawaii rekindles what they had and why they used to be known the most perfect couple back in college. Jeonghan is not sure what their next step should be but Sehun falls in love with the new Jeonghan again.  
>  **Notes:**  
>  \- So, hello! This is my first JeongHun fic. I am easily enabled and got my friends to enable me, so here I am.  
> \- I actually have never been to Hawaii before, so my basis is only on pictures.  
> \- The title of the fic is from the Hawaiian song, “I’ll Weave a Lei of Stars.”  
> \- Many thanks to my beta reader who is low-key aboard SS JeongHun.

It’s been eight years since they first met.

Just like before, a stage separates them. Sehun sits with the audience while Jeonghan, with gentle fingers on the guitar strings and the voice of an angel, shines on the stage. 

They’re in their mid-twenties now, no longer teenagers in a bar where indie college musicians play. They’re in Hawaii, and Sehun is the best man for his best friend’s wedding. It turns out that Jeonghan is the wedding singer. 

(Sehun blames this on the wedding coordinator. If Johnny would have known that Jeonghan would be the wedding singer, he would have told Sehun immediately. Johnny and Wendy may have been hands-on with the preparations, but Sehun remembers Wendy mentioning that their original wedding singer backed out at the last minute, and she had delegated the final decision to the coordinator.) 

“Everything okay?” Johnny asks, his brows knitted, gaze flitting back and forth from Sehun to Jeonghan. 

“Sort of,” Sehun replies. He can’t really say that he’s okay, but at the same time, he cannot deny that it was nice to see Jeonghan after all these years, especially after … 

Well. 

Jeonghan’s hair is shorter, but his voice is as sweet as ever, just as how Sehun remembers it. Sehun remembers freezing in place eight years ago when Jeonghan started to sing. He had never heard a voice quite like Jeonghan’s, and it sends gentle thrums in his heart. 

When Jeonghan finishes singing, the crowd bursts into applause, as does Sehun. Jeonghan smiles and bows, and Sehun’s heart makes low thrums again. 

The guests then stand up to socialize, and Sehun practically springs from his seat. He ignores Johnny calling his name as he makes his way to the other side of the room, where the stage is. 

Maybe this is all just a dream. It has to be. What are the odds of him and Jeonghan seeing each other again after four long years? 

But Jeonghan descends the stage, and their gazes meet. The younger one stops at the foot of the stage. His eyes widen, and his mouth opens in surprise. The thrums in Sehun’s heart turn into loud, fast beats, and he doesn’t know how he still can breathe. 

“Sehun …” Jeonghan says, voice barely above a whisper. 

Sehun had scenarios in his head on how this reunion will go. But no matter how many times he had imagined it, nothing beats the real thing. So he takes a deep breath, tucks both of his hands in his pockets, and makes his way to Jeonghan. 

“Hey,” he says when he’s closer to Jeonghan. Not too near, but not at a distance either. “Long time no see.” 

Jeonghan clutches his guitar and pulls it tightly to his chest. He purses his lips and stares at Sehun as if he had grown horns. 

Sehun sighs. It’s not that he expected their reunion to be a smooth one. “Look, if you don’t want me around, I won’t disturb you this week,” he says. He doesn’t want to avoid Jeonghan, but … “But … it’s nice to see you again.” 

That seems to have done the trick. Jeonghan pops his lips out, and he lowers his guitar. His shoulders seem to have relaxed, too. “It’s nice to see you again, too,” Jeonghan says after a while. And there’s no mistaking the small quirk of his lips. 

Sehun cannot believe that it all ran smoothly from there. Somehow they have sat down on the nearby table where they exchanged short conversations in between awkward silences. They start loosening up when the glasses of champagne keep coming, and soon they are talking and laughing. 

Eight years ago, they hit it off easily, too. Minus the awkward silences, the two of them moved to a table at the back of the bar after Jeonghan’s performance. Sehun can’t remember what they’ve talked about, but he remembers how Jeonghan still shone without the spotlight. 

(They don’t talk about the elephant in the room, of course. That time will come, when they’re both ready.) 

“You cut your hair,” Sehun points out. 

“Oh, right.” Jeonghan chuckles, a hand running through the back of his head. “I work in an elementary school. They didn’t like that male teachers have long hair, so …” 

“You still look good, though.” Sehun grabs his glass and takes a sip. “I mean, you look good with any hairstyle.” 

Jeonghan looks down, his lips turned up once more. Sehun’s chest flutters at the sight. “Still the flatterer, I see,” he says. 

“I’m only telling the truth,” Sehun says. He tries to be as straightforward as possible, but he feels his cheeks stretching. 

They barely noticed that people have started filing out of the room until he hears Johnny call his name. Johnny has an eyebrow raised at him while Wendy is glancing at him and Jeonghan curiously, her arm around Johnny’s. Sehun’s best friend, however, does not make any other comment, and only says, “Don’t be late tomorrow. Day tour call time is at six.” 

Sehun nods. “Gotcha.” 

“Jeonghan, right?” Wendy says. “You’re joining the day tour tomorrow as well?” 

“Wouldn’t miss a free day tour in Hawaii,” Jeonghan says, grinning. 

“Great! I’ll see you tomorrow.” With another smile and a wave, Wendy and Johnny take their leave. 

(Johnny throws Sehun a cautious glance, which Sehun doesn’t return. He’s older than Johnny. He can handle this.) 

“Well.” Sehun’s attention turns back to Jeonghan, who has already stood up and grabbed his guitar. “We should be going, too.” 

“Right.” He doesn’t want to leave yet, but he realizes he and Jeonghan will be running into each other the whole week. 

He hopes they’ll have plenty of time.


	2. Jeonghan

It’s an unholy hour to be up this early. Jeonghan swears to the heavens that it is inhuman to be awake at six in the morning on a vacation day.

But here he is, miraculously awake and sipping coffee (“The strongest one you have,” he had specified to the waiter) in the hotel restaurant. He feels the caffeine rush throughout his body after the first few sips, which Jeonghan appreciates. He needs to be awake. Today is going to be a long day. 

It didn't really help that he couldn’t fall asleep last night. It must be because of the jet lag and … 

Well. 

He hears footsteps getting louder towards his direction. When he looks up, he sees Sehun’s approaching figure. The older one is wearing a white T-shirt and shorts, his head covered with a dark cup. He’s also trying to balance a coffee cup on one hand and a tray full of breakfast food on the other. 

Jeonghan feels his heart race, and he sincerely hopes it’s because of the coffee. 

Sehun stops a foot away from the table, and he smiles. “Morning,” he greets. 

“Morning,” Jeonghan greets back, managing a smile. 

Silence falls between them for a couple of seconds, with Sehun glancing at the empty chair next to Jeonghan. “Um,” Sehun begins. “Do you mind if I sit here?” 

Jeonghan tries to glance at the occupied tables around him without making it look like he’s deciding on an answer. His instant reply would be “yes,” but … “Johnny and Wendy aren’t here yet?” he asks, hoping his peripheral vision can stretch to the table behind him. (“But that would be physically impossible,” his best friend Jisoo’s voice answers in his head.) 

“They’ll be here soon,” Sehun says. “But they’ll probably have breakfast with their group of friends.” 

“And you’re not Johnny’s friend?” Jeonghan feels his eyebrow raise. 

“I am,” Sehun laughs. “But his other friends are just my acquaintances, and I don’t want to feel like the odd one out.” 

“And you think sitting with your ex-boyfriend over breakfast is going to make things better for you?” Jeonghan blurts out before he could stop himself. When Sehun flinches, Jeonghan feels warmth rush to his face, and he shakes his head. “No, I don’t mind. Sit down, before I say something stupid again.” 

They don’t talk as they eat breakfast. Jeonghan looks at his phone, his group chat with Jisoo and Seungcheol open as they chat about random things. (Jeonghan hasn’t told his friends about Sehun, though.) But he occasionally glances at Sehun, who is on the phone as well. Jeonghan thinks he should say something, but he doesn’t feel the need to start any conversation at all. 

It’s just like them. They have never been morning people, and it was always a chore to get up from bed. And when they do, and the loser from rock-paper-scissors has finished making breakfast, they would just sit on the couch of Sehun’s apartment, side by side as they eat in silence. 

It was these moments, Jeonghan figured, that had made waking up worth it. 

These days, mornings are a chore. Mornings are a bustle of waking up on or before the alarm, grabbing the lunchbox with food Seungcheol had prepared for him, and cramming himself on the train to work. Then Jeonghan is dead to the world on weekend mornings, with only his blanket and pillow as sources of warmth. 

Sehun’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts. “Are you sure you’ll be okay later?” 

Jeonghan blinks. He then remembers their agenda for today. They’ll be going to one of Hawaii’s state parks, which Wendy claims has a breathtaking view. 

The catch, however, was that they have to hike to see the best view of Hawaii. And that hike would take about two hours. 

“I’ll be fine,” Jeonghan says, waving a hand. “I chase elementary school kids on a daily basis. Hiking shouldn’t be too hard for me.” 

Sehun doesn’t look convinced. Jeonghan doesn’t blame him, because he doesn’t sound convinced himself, either. He hates any form of physical activity, and he always ended up collapsing after chasing kids down the hallways. He swears he sees the school nurse more often than the kids. 

But Sehun doesn’t need to know that. 

Soon, the day trip group gathers at the lobby. Johnny and Wendy lead the group, swaying their intertwined hands. The couple introduces Jeonghan to their friends, their entourage, who start gushing over Jeonghan’s performance last night. 

“Jeonghan used to play in a band back in university,” Sehun mentions when the chatter has died down. 

“You two know each other?” Johnny’s friend Taeyong glances from Sehun to Jeonghan with wide eyes, as if he had just heard something amazing. 

Johnny’s creasy forehead and his cautious glance at Sehun doesn’t get past Jeonghan. 

“Yeah,” Sehun says, shrugging as if he had just confirmed the fine weather for today. “We’ve seen each other often.” 

“Small world, huh?” Taeyong chuckles. 

Luckily, the conversation didn’t stay too long there. Jeonghan flits his attention back and forth from different people discussing different things that his head starts to swim. Fortunately, their van finally arrives. 

Sehun and Jeonghan end up sitting next to each other at the back of the van. Jeonghan didn’t really feel like he has a choice. It’s obvious that Johnny and Wendy would be sitting next to each other, while the rest of the entourage already have their preferred seatmates. Jeonghan isn’t really close to anyone else in the van, which leaves Sehun as the only person he can sit next to. 

But just to be sure … “You don’t have to sit with me if it makes you uncomfortable,” he tells Sehun. 

Sehun scoffs. “I shared a table with you over breakfast,” he says. “I’m okay with this.” 

Jeonghan doesn’t reply to that. The engine starts, and he settles for looking out of the window before Sehun could notice the rush of blood to his face. 

And he won’t say it out loud, but he’s okay with this, too. 

Jeonghan must have snoozed off, because the next thing he knows, Sehun is shaking him awake. He yawns, wondering where the caffeine rush had gone, then steps out of the van. Needless to say, he gasps out loud as he saw the view in front of him: a wide crater of what looks like a small volcano, surrounded by the sea. It feels like something out of a movie. A really brilliantly animated movie. 

But then the hike starts, and Jeonghan thinks he might die. Half an hour into the hike, he starts to trail behind the group. His legs begin to feel like lead, and he gasps out deep, shallow breaths. The world then starts spinning, and he has to cling to the railings before he could fall. 

“Jeonghan.” 

Jeonghan tries to blink the dizziness away, and when he does, Sehun’s face comes into focus. Sweat is trickling down his face, but the older one still looks as collected as one of those models posing in this same backdrop. Life really isn’t fair. “You go ahead,” Jeonghan pants out. “I’ll be fine.” 

“You almost collapsed.” Sehun frowns. “I can’t leave you alone.” 

“Sure, you can.” Jeonghan chuckles. “You don’t want to be left behind.” 

Sehun looks over his shoulder. Everyone else is already out of their sight, but the older one shakes his head. “Nope, I’m staying.” 

“Sehun, you don’t have to—” 

“But I want to.” Sehun smiles then leans against the railway. “When you’re feeling better, we’ll catch up with everyone else.” 

Jeonghan’s eyes widen. Sehun wasn’t this insistent before. He would usually tell Jeonghan “If that’s what you want” then watch over him carefully from afar. He doesn’t really know what to say after that, so he ends up keeping his mouth shut. 

He sighs and turns around so that he and Sehun are facing the same view. From where they’re standing, he can see the view of the Pacific Ocean against the clear blue sky. “Wow,” he can’t help but gasp. “It’s beautiful.” 

“Yeah.” Sehun smiles. He fishes his phone out of his pocket and holds it out to take a picture. “Probably much more beautiful if we get to higher ground.” 

“Don’t pressure me,” Jeonghan laughs. “Give me time.” 

Sehun’s smile widens. “I know.” 

They stay like that for a while until Jeonghan feels the strength coming back to his legs. He stumbles when they set out to hike again, and he could have fallen if not for Sehun’s grip on his wrist. Jeonghan honestly hopes it’s the fall that caused his erratic heartbeat. 

Jeonghan had to stop every thirty minutes to catch his breath, but they managed to catch up with the others and make it to the top. And as expected, the view is more beautiful. He can see the endless stretch of the sea, and with the rest of the city looking like ants in comparison, Jeonghan feels like he’s on top of the world. 

He takes out his phone to snap a photo. He’ll never be able to come back here in a while, and he’s going to make sure he’ll have these photos to remember this week in Hawaii. 

From the corner of his eye, he sees Sehun, whose gaze is on the view before them. His eyes are wide and his mouth hangs open as if this is the first time he is seeing such wonder. 

Jeonghan secretly snaps a photo of that moment, quickly stuffing his phone back in his pocket and looking away before anyone could notice what he did, plus the pending redness on his face.


	3. Sehun

When Sehun arrives at the wedding venue, he is greeted by plastic chairs and a small platform. It’s a crude setup, but then again, it’s only the wedding rehearsals for the day. Still, the scenery manages to take Sehun’s breath away. Johnny and Wendy will be tying the knot, and their backdrop will be the sea and the beach and palm trees.

Speaking of which …

It’s easy to recognize Johnny and his broad shoulders sitting in the front row. His best friend is hunched over, his right arm doing quick left-and-right motions. Sehun takes quick steps forward to find Johnny frowning at whatever is written in his notebook.

“Yo,” Sehun greets. He smiles when Johnny looks up and returns the greeting. “You’re too early for rehearsals.”

Johnny grins sheepishly. “Couldn’t sleep. I went and revised my vows.”

“Again?” Sehun takes a seat beside Johnny, who hands him the notebook. His eyes scan the words and the hasty scribbles, and after a minute, he says, “Johnny, this is amazing. As were your other drafts. Stop agonizing over this.”

His best friend lets out a deep breath. “I know, but … It has to be perfect.”

“Isn’t marriage about loving each other despite imperfections?” Sehun tries to joke about it, but the frown remains on Johnny’s face. “Come on, Wendy’s not gonna change her mind because of whatever you’re gonna say.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one getting married.” Johnny laughs, but there is still a hint of nervousness to it.

Fair point. “You still have a couple of days,” Sehun says instead. “You’ll be fine.”

“I hope so. Wouldn’t want to look like a bumbling mess in front of my future wife.” Johnny’s lips stretch toward his cheeks at those words. “God, I can’t believe I’m marrying her.”

The moment Johnny introduced Wendy for him for the first time, Sehun knew she was the one for his best friend. It’s always the way Johnny would look at her and take care of her and tend to her every need. Johnny had dated several women in the past, and Sehun had met most of them, but the way he interacts with Wendy is just … different.

So when Johnny announced to Sehun that he was going to propose to Wendy, Sehun wasn’t really surprised. It was a long time coming; it was just a matter of when.

“You okay, though?” Johnny asks, forehead creased.

Sehun blinks. “Why wouldn't I be okay?” he asks.

“Hello? Yoon Jeonghan is here. Your ex-boyfriend of four years that you’re still hung up on?”

“Seriously?” Sehun groans. He looks over his shoulder to check if anyone else has arrived. Fortunately, no one has accidentally eavesdropped on their conversation yet.

“Relax, Jeonghan and the other performers are rehearsing in another area,” Johnny chuckles before his expression becomes sober. “But no, seriously …”

“I _am_ fine,” Sehun insists. If he is being honest with himself, he really is okay. It’s great to see Jeonghan again, great to see that not much has changed, even if he feels they’re still walking on eggshells around each other. But that’s understandable.

“Do you want to get back together with him?” Johnny asks. He closes his notebook, vows forgotten, so he can focus on Sehun.

“I don’t think a week is enough for us to get back together,” Sehun chuckles. “But, I do want to talk about it.”

Johnny hums. “And what happens if he doesn’t want to?”

Sehun had planned to talk with Jeonghan, but he hasn’t gone far on the possible scenarios. But the thought does bring a strong punch to the gut. He shrugs. “Then I try to move on. Officially, this time.”

He hears Johnny sigh. “It’s probably too early, but maybe you two should hang out sometime this week,” he says. “You know, loosen up, catch up, then see where you guys will stand after.”

That is actually a great idea. He and Jeonghan seem to be getting along fine, if the first two days in Hawaii were anything to go by. So maybe dinner, just the two of them, would be possible.

“We have rehearsal dinner tomorrow,” Johnny points out. “It’s for our families only, so maybe that would be a good time.”

That is true. Sehun isn’t required to be at tomorrow’s rehearsal dinner, which gives him lots of free time. And if Johnny is suggesting to ask Jeonghan out tomorrow, then the younger one won’t be performing during dinner either.

He doesn’t get to ponder on that thought a lot because Wendy arrives, followed by the entourage, the couple’s families, the officiant, and the wedding coordinator. It’s time for rehearsals.

 

 

 

Sehun has lunch with Johnny, Wendy, the families, and the entourage after rehearsals. After an hour’s rest, he meets the couple and their friends in the lobby, swimming gear ready. Their destination for the day is the nature preserve. Sehun had been looking forward to snorkeling to get a glimpse of the beauty underwater. 

Jeonghan is already in the lobby when Sehun arrives. This time, the younger one is not alone. Sehun recognizes the violinist and the pianist chatting animatedly with Jeonghan. The female pianist must have said something funny because Jeonghan throws his head back in laughter. 

God, that laugh is still music to Jeonghan’s ears. 

Johnny calls Sehun’s name, and that causes Jeonghan to look at his direction as well. Sehun waves at Johnny before meeting Jeonghan’s gaze just as the younger one smiles in greeting. 

The existing butterflies in his stomach go haywire, and Sehun bumps into a passing guest and her luggage. 

(But Jeonghan laughs again, so he guesses the embarrassment is worth it.) 

To his surprise, Jeonghan plops next to him in the bus. “Don’t you have people you know here?” he asks, glancing at the violinist and the pianist sitting on the row that can seat three people. 

Jeonghan chuckles. “Well,” he starts, “you’re not the only one who feels out of place.” 

This time, they talk a little bit more than yesterday. Mostly about their friends in university, because that’s the safest topic of conversation they’ll have. Jeonghan talks about Seungcheol running a business and Jisoo in medical school in Los Angeles. They still share an apartment; Jisoo’s stuff is still there, ready whenever he comes home from the holidays. 

“How is Jongin, by the way?” Jeonghan asks. Jongin is Sehun’s roommate and close friend in university. 

Sehun tells him Jongin is a backup dancer for some big idol entertainment agency. They have a hard time coordinating their free times to hang out, but they make it work. Jongin has also proposed to his college sweetheart, Soojung, and they’re set to get married next year. 

“Oh, wow,” Jeonghan remarks. “Looks like you’re the only single one among your friends.” His eyes widen when he realized what he had just said. “Or …?” 

Suddenly the atmosphere feels tense, but Sehun tries to ignore it. There’s nothing wrong with that question, even if they share a history. He chuckles, and hopefully Jeonghan doesn’t worry about it. “Still single,” he says. He doesn’t tell Jeonghan that he hasn’t seriously dated anyone else since they’ve broken up. 

Maybe he’ll tell Jeonghan he couldn’t see being together with anyone else. 

Jeonghan opens his mouth as if to ask a question, but looks like he thought better of it. He then looks out at the view from the window, which he usually does whenever he wants to speak his mind but not make eye contact. “That makes two of us,” he says. 

And try as Sehun might not to smile, he just couldn’t help himself. 

They reach the natural preserve. And it’s more beautiful than what Sehun had seen in pictures. They’re still in the van, but Sehun can see the expanse of blue, with the mountains and the clear blue sky as the backdrop. If the view in his hotel is paradise, then this view is a whole other level. 

A different tour guide welcomes them to the nature reserve and leads the way to the reception area. There, they are given a video presentation and are briefed on area rules. After that, they are instructed to get snorkeling gear in the nearby kiosk, if they don’t have one with them. 

Jeonghan stays behind while Sehun joins Johnny and his friends grab snorkeling equipment. This isn’t really a surprise, given how Jeonghan would get tired easily. Still, he feels his stomach drop as he thought he wouldn’t be able to spend time with the younger one for a couple of hours. 

“Don’t make that face.” 

Sehun blinks. Johnny is smirking like he knows the world’s biggest secret. “What face?” he asks. 

Johnny chuckles and hands him a snorkel mask and a pair of fins. “Like your world is going to end,” he says. “Seriously, we’ll be snorkeling for an hour. It’s not like you’re not gonna see him again.” 

Sehun feels warmth rushing to his face. “I’m that obvious, aren’t I?” he says in a low voice, quickly looking over his shoulder. Jeonghan is chatting with Wendy and Seulgi. Suddenly, the younger one turns and ends up meeting his gaze. Jeonghan smiles, and Sehun almost forgets how to breathe. 

He pointedly ignores the clucks of Johnny’s tongue and his best friend’s comment of “Whipped” before catching up with the others. If Johnny weren’t getting married in three days, Sehun would have tripped his best friend. 

He forgets about Jeonghan as soon as they put their snorkeling gear and wade into the waters. Sehun trails behind Johnny as they venture into deeper waters, using their phones stuck in water-proof cases to document everything they see, from the fish to sea turtles and the reef. Sehun had snorkeled in other beautiful beaches before, but perhaps this is the most beautiful reef he has seen. 

He’s reluctant to go out of the waters, but the sun is about to set, and he won’t be able to see much anyway. His legs feel like lead as he walks back to shore, taking off his snorkeling gear. Johnny looks around for any sight of the girls, and his eyes brighten up and start walking to a specific direction in huge strides. 

Johnny may have gone to Wendy, but Sehun spots Jeonghan not too far away. The younger one is lying on his beach mat, eyes closed and chest rising in steady rhythms. Sehun feels his stomach flutter, and he resists the urge to take out his phone and take a picture. 

He doesn’t, and he ends up taking a seat next to Jeonghan. It’s uncomfortable, the way he would feel sand on his legs, but he doesn’t really have a choice. He didn’t bring his beach mat with him. 

It didn’t take long for Jeonghan to stir. The younger one slowly sits up and rubs his eyes with the back of his hand. He then gazes out into the setting sun, and a smile spreads across his face. Even though the sky is slowly dimming, Jeonghan still manages to shine. 

Jeonghan eventually notices that someone else is sitting beside him, and he turns to look at Sehun. The younger one’s eyes narrow towards him. “How long have you been watching me sleep?” he asks. 

Sehun chuckles. “Not for long,” he says. “You woke up just in time for the sunset.” 

Jeonghan doesn’t seem to believe him, but the younger one doesn’t push the issue. His eyes do soften as he turns his gaze back to the sunset. “They’re right,” he says. “The sunset in Hawaii is beautiful.” 

“It is.” Sehun thinks this should be the perfect opportunity to ask about getting dinner together. The proposal is on the tip of his tongue, but it’s always different when you’re asking an ex-boyfriend out. 

_God, Oh Sehun, you asked Jeonghan out all those years ago. You were just as anxious, but he said yes._

He takes a deep breath. “Jeonghan?” 

Jeonghan turns to look at him. “Hmm?” 

Another deep breath. “Do you want to go have dinner somewhere in town?” he asks. 

Well. He was supposed to ask Jeonghan out tomorrow. 

Oh well. 

It shouldn’t be a surprise to see Jeonghan’s eyes widen. Sehun’s heart beats violently against his chest as he waits for a response. Just like before, the wait is agonizing. Every second of silence from Jeonghan’s side feels like minutes, hours, days … 

So he follows up with an explanation. “I mean!” He laughs nervously. “The food in the hotel is good, but we’ll probably get tired of it after a few days—And besides—It would be nice if we get to explore the city, right?” 

Jeonghan remains silent. That’s not a good sign. 

Sehun gulps and prepares for the worst. “You can say no …” 

“Do you know your way around the city?” Jeonghan asks suddenly. 

Sehun blinks, but his heart rate slowly starts getting back to normal. “Well, no …” 

“No plans at all?” Jeonghan laughs and shakes his head. “Whatever. Sure.” 

Sehun lets out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, and his cheeks hurt as his lips quirk up. 

An hour later, they end up getting down halfway from the ride back to the hotel. Johnny texts him a “Good luck” and a thumbs-up emoji seconds after they’re figuring out what to do next. Fortunately, Jeonghan has them covered, already on his phone to browse for recommended restaurants. 

It reminds Sehun of their first out-of-town trip together. Jeonghan has had the itinerary planned for weeks, but Sehun would ask him to stray from the plan from time to time. Sometimes that would lead to arguments, which would result in cold-shoulder treatment to whoever was slighted. Still, they would end up coming home with wonderful memories. 

Luckily they don’t get lost trying to find that restaurant. The food is good, but the company was better. They eat, they talk, they laugh, then fall into comfortable silence. It’s just like before. 

Except they’ve changed, in some ways. Sehun would like to believe he’s a bit more confident, a bit more expressive. And Jeonghan has loosened up a little. Their dreams are different now, too. Yet they both still love the same things and still disagree on others. 

Sehun didn’t think it was possible to miss Jeonghan even more. Jeonghan is standing right before him, but Sehun’s heart longs once more for snuggling on the couch and stolen kisses and basically those eight years of being together. 

And he wants to tell Jeonghan that. 

But now is not the time. It’s getting late, and they have to head back to the hotel. Sehun has promised to help with last-minute wedding arrangements, and Jeonghan has the whole day to practice for the wedding. 

Although, there’s still dinner tomorrow … 

“I had a great time,” Jeonghan says. They’re back in the hotel, and Sehun is walking Jeonghan back to his room, no matter how cheesy that is. (Sehun insisted, of course.) 

“Me, too,” Sehun says with a grin. 

Jeonghan stops in front of a door, which Sehun presumes to be the younger one’s room. “Well.” Jeonghan tucks his hands behind his back. “My stop.” 

Sehun doesn’t want to move just yet, but he wills himself to. “Okay,” he says. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Jeonghan smiles. “Good night, Sehun.” 

“Would you like to have dinner again tomorrow?” 

Jeonghan looks up from fumbling through his bag, his eyes wide. “What?” he asks. 

Sehun feels his throat dry up. He really wishes Jeonghan heard him the first time, to save him the embarrassment of repeating himself. “I’m not going to rehearsal dinner tomorrow,” he says. “Would you like to have dinner with me? Tomorrow?” 

“Oh.” Jeonghan blinks. He can see the younger one’s face turning red, and the silence is torturous. This asking-out post-breakup is harder than the first time he asked Jeonghan out on a date. Eight years ago, it was easy. Now … 

“If you’re not free tomorrow, that’s okay,” he adds quickly. He feels his resolve fade more quickly for every second Jeonghan hasn’t answered. 

“No, I’m not doing anything tomorrow.” Jeonghan shakes his head. He looks down on the ground, but Sehun could see his lips stretched up. “Sure, dinner’s fine.” 

Sehun couldn’t believe this just happened, and he couldn’t resist sighing in relief. “Okay. I’ll pick you up here at seven?” 

“Okay.” When Jeonghan finally looks up, he looks calmer, but the smile on his face causes Sehun’s heart to skip a beat. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

It takes a while before Jeonghan gets in his room. He struggles with pressing his keycard on the lock, and he stumbles on the way in, slamming the door a little too forcefully. Sehun hears the younger one say, “Sorry!” from the inside. 

Meanwhile, Sehun just stands there, grinning like an idiot, before walking back to his room with a spring in his step.


	4. Jeonghan

Jeonghan thinks he could get used to waking up with this view before him. The jet lag still makes it difficult for him to sleep, but seeing the sun rise above the sea, the mountains, and the palm trees surely makes up for it.

It’s six in the morning. His practice with the rest of the ensemble is in three more hours, but with much tossing and turning, Jeonghan gives up on sleep altogether and decides to get breakfast. As expected, the hotel restaurant is still empty, save for a couple of businessmen near the coffee station, reading the newspaper.

Jeonghan grabs a cup of coffee and piles a plate with as much food as he can before settling on a table by the large windows. He leans against his chair comfortably and sighs as he looks at the sun, which has still not fully risen.

His thoughts are interrupted when his phone beeps. It’s a notification from Jisoo. Typical of his best friend to be awake, given time zones.

“ _Explain yourself_ ,” the message reads. Jisoo has then sent a link to an Instagram post, which Jeonghan clicks.

It’s a post from one of Johnny’s friends … Jaehyun? Jeonghan easily recognizes the backdrop—it was the view from the hike they took two days ago. But what made his blood run cold was the blurry shot of the people behind Jaehyun.

The shot may be blurry, but he can clearly see himself and Sehun engaged in what looks like a conversation.

Jeonghan doesn’t even think about it and presses the Call button.

Jisoo picks up after three rings. “It’s six in the morning in Hawaii. Why are you awake?”

“Jet lag,” Jeonghan mutters. He takes a sip of his coffee, anticipating a long conversation ahead. Jisoo makes a sound of acknowledgment. “So … how do you know Jaehyun?”

“I don’t. Seokmin is friends with him, though. He ended up sending me this guy’s post because you happened to be there. And then it turns out Sehun is there, too. With you.”

“He’s the best man in the wedding,” Jeonghan pinches the bridge of his nose. He stabs his pancake too harshly with his fork and takes a bite before he continues. “I was planning to tell you guys about him after the wedding.”

“And how is that working out for you?” Jisoo asks.

Jeonghan remembers what happened yesterday, how it was easy to slip back to what was normal for them. Try as Jeonghan might to build walls around Sehun, he couldn’t. Sehun would smile or laugh or say something endearing, and the wall basically crumbles.

“Oh no.”

Jeonghan blinks. “Oh no, what?”

“You spaced out,” Jisoo points out. “You’re thinking about Sehun, aren’t you?”

He swears under his breath. He and Jisoo have known each other since they were kids, to the point that Jisoo can practically read Jeonghan’s mind. It’s creepy, though occasionally helpful.

“Jeonghan,” Jisoo says, and he sounds more serious this time. “You guys are attending a wedding, and you might get carried away by all the romantic things happening and stuff.”

“I won’t.”

“And what if Sehun wants to talk about … you know?”

From the corner of his eye, Jeonghan sees Sehun walk in the restaurant, looking less haggard than Jeonghan is. They meet gazes, and Sehun does that smile where his eyes crinkle up, and it makes tight knots in Jeonghan’s insides.

“Jeonghan?” Jisoo repeats on the other line.

“Yeah,” Jeonghan says absentmindedly. “If he wants to talk, then we’ll talk.”

“Okay. Just keep your feet on the ground.”

“I will. Stop worrying about me.”

“No promises. Anyway, I’ll talk to you again?”

“Yeah. Bye, Soo.”

When Jeonghan hangs up, Sehun is laughing at something he can’t hear. The knots in his stomach tighten, and when Jeonghan looks at his plate full of food, he doesn’t feel like eating anymore.

 

 

 

 

In the midst of practice, Jeonghan somehow remembers the dates he has had with Sehun. 

Their first date was in one of the university’s fairs. They went on a double date with Jongin and Soojung, then they separated from the couple halfway through the night. They went to get coffee outside campus and ended up staying there until midnight. 

But perhaps one of his favorite dates was when Sehun convinced him to take a bus and go to a fireworks festival out of town. Jeonghan was not much for winging it, and he hated crowds, but the kiss he shared with Sehun as fireworks burst in the sky made everything worth it. 

And then there are the regular dates, when he would stay at Sehun’s apartment. They would cook, watch a movie, make out, which would eventually lead to … 

“Hey, are you okay? Your face is all red.” 

Jeonghan snaps back to reality. He feels the air warm all around him, and he sees the pianist looking at him with concern. He laughs nervously and shakes his head. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he replies quickly. “No need to worry.” 

He tries to shut down memories and Jisoo’s words throughout practice, and it resulted in a pounding headache. Jeonghan is more than relieved that practice wrapped up ten minutes early. That would mean he still has a couple of hours to take a nap before Sehun picks them up for … 

… their date … 

Jeonghan doesn’t understand why the butterflies in his stomach are on a riot. This isn’t his first date with Sehun. He shouldn’t be nervous. He’s not eighteen anymore. 

But he does end up tossing and turning on his bed instead of getting an actual nap. 

Frustrated, he gets up and heads to the shower in an attempt to make himself less tired and more presentable. When he’s done freshening up, he combs through his closet. Lucky for him, he packed enough nice shirts other than the one he’s supposed to wear for the wedding. He tries on all the shirts and decides on what to wear after half an hour. 

He has just finished putting on his shoes when the doorbell rings. Jeonghan takes one last look at himself in the mirror, nods in approval, then heads to the door. He looks in the peephole and sees Sehun. He looks good, as always, in a blue dress shirt and jeans. He’s pacing back and forth, running a hand through his hair in apparent nervousness. 

It’s an adorable sight, actually. 

Jeonghan takes a deep breath and opens the door. 

Sehun freezes in his tracks, and his eyes widen as he glances at Jeonghan from head to toe. “W-Wow,” he says. “You look good.” 

Jeonghan’s lips automatically quirk up, and he looks at anywhere but Sehun. “Where are we going?” he asks, changing the subject. 

“I don’t want to head out of the hotel, not with the wedding happening tomorrow,” Sehun says, scratching the back of his head. “Johnny said there’s this really nice restaurant by the hotel beach, though.” 

“That’s okay,” Jeonghan says, smiling. He steps out of the room and closes the door, making sure it’s locked before walking with Sehun. “I didn’t want to go somewhere too far either.” 

“Great.” Sehun lets out a breath. “I checked the place last night, after I dropped you off, and it’s amazing. You’ll love it.” 

And Jeonghan does. He gasps as he takes in the outdoor restaurant, lights dangling from the trees. A waiter greets them and escorts them to their seats, just beside the pond. As Jeonghan sits down, he can hear the faint sounds of violin playing on the other side of the restaurant. 

“Too much?” Sehun is biting his bottom lip as he looks at Jeonghan, briefly looking away when the waiter hands them their menus. 

Jeonghan shakes his head. “It’s fine,” he says. And he means it. 

They spend a couple of minutes discussing what to eat before Sehun calls the waiter. While they wait for their food, Jeonghan notices the change of music from the violinist. He frowns as he tries to remember what song it is. It’s familiar, too familiar … 

He tells Sehun this, and the older one frowns as he thinks about it as well. Sehun’s eyes then widen in recognition. “It’s _Can’t Help Falling in Love_ ,” he says softly. 

Jeonghan scrunches his forehead as he listens to the music again, then he realizes Sehun is right. “It is,” he says. And he smiles before he could stop himself. “Do you remember when …?” 

He trails off as a wave of memories come back to him. Of course, that song is familiar. 

They were in Sehun’s apartment, doing nothing but lounge around in the living room, surviving on takeout food in celebration of the end of another school year. Suddenly, this song played from Sehun’s phone, and the next thing he knows, Sehun was dragging him up from the couch and into his arms. And they clung to each other as they swayed to the music, Jeonghan’s head on Sehun’s chest. 

It was in that moment that Sehun told those three words to Jeonghan, and Jeonghan could have sworn his heart was about to burst. 

But he comes back to reality. Sehun had cleared his throat and had said, “Yeah”, then leaves it at that. 

It’s probably too soon to remember, but Jeonghan wishes they could. 

Soon, their food arrives, and the violinist plays something else. They ended up talking about the wedding, and more random things like mutual friends, their work. An occasional memory of them would slip every now and then, which fortunately doesn’t end up in awkward silences. 

It must be the champagne that had gotten them braver to talk about it. 

“Remember when we first met?” Jeonghan asks when dessert was served. 

Sehun laughs as he leans against his seat. “You were performing with Jisoo in a bar. I loved your voice, and you practically shone onstage.” 

Jeonghan hopes the restaurant lights were dim enough to hide the redness of his cheeks. “One of your seniors introduced us, right? My first thought was you were really handsome.” 

“I still am,” Sehun huffs, taking a small slice of cake and stuffing it in his mouth, looking more like an insulted child than an adult. 

“Don’t be so full of yourself,” Jeonghan laughs. 

They continue their conversation even after Sehun had paid the bill. They take a stroll along the path leading to the beach, where not a soul is in sight. They talk about their first date, that date in the fireworks festival, their first argument, the arguments that were such a big deal back then but now seem petty in comparison. 

Jeonghan feels a brush against his fingers. It’s a warmth that he’s so familiar with, yet he hasn’t felt in four years. Forgetting reason, he closes his fist, clutching those fingers, still soft and slender and warm. 

He freezes in his tracks when Sehun turns to face him. And he is gazing at Jeonghan with that familiar intensity, the same gaze he gave when they were slow dancing to that song … 

His heart is hammering too loudly that Jeonghan wonders why he hasn’t collapsed yet. 

“I miss you,” Sehun tells him. 

And at that moment, Jeonghan knows he misses Sehun, too. But somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to say it. 

Instead, he remembers that night in Sehun’s apartment, when the atmosphere was heavy, and all he feels was a mix of frustration and sadness and defeat … 

And what comes out of his mouth was, “That’s not fair of you.” He pulls away from Sehun’s grasp. 

Sehun’s eyes widen. “What?” he asks. 

Jeonghan clenches his fist. “We broke up.” 

“I know,” Sehun says like the answer is plain as day. He still doesn’t get it. 

“Do you remember what happened?” Jeonghan continues. “What I told you?” 

He’s back in Sehun’s apartment. It was quiet, and they were face to face. Sehun was on his couch, and Jeonghan was standing across him, luggage in hand. He was trying hard not to cry, but he was very bad with not keeping his emotions in check. 

“Give me a reason, Sehun,” he had said. “Give me a reason why I shouldn’t walk away and never come back.” 

Sehun’s head hung low, hands clasped together. He didn’t say anything for a long time. 

Jeonghan had gone tired of waiting, so he walked out, slamming the door behind him. 

Sehun didn’t run after him. 

He’s back in the present. His vision of Sehun is blurry, and he lets out a sob. “I waited for you,” he says. “I wanted you to fight for me. But you didn’t come looking for me, you didn’t even call me. And now you’re saying you missed me?” 

“Jeonghan …” He feels a hand on his cheek, thumb brushing to wipe away his tears. 

Jeonghan slaps it away. “Don’t,” he chokes out. 

“I’m sorry,” Sehun says. His hands slip to grasp Jeonghan’s arms, and it’s a miracle Jeonghan doesn’t pull away. “I wanted to, but—” 

“You didn’t.” Jeonghan laughs, but it comes off bitter in his mouth. “You’re an idiot, you know that?” 

“I know.” 

Silence falls between them, the only sounds being waves crashing across the shore. Jeonghan sniffs and looks up at the night sky in an attempt to stop crying, but the attempt is failing miserably. He takes a deep breath and hugs himself. “We should head back,” he says, his voice breaking. “We still have a wedding to go to tomorrow.” 

“But …” Sehun says. 

“We’ll both be busy,” Jeonghan sniffs, then wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. “I should go ahead. Good night, Sehun.” 

“Jeonghan …” 

But Jeonghan doesn’t stop, brushing past Sehun as he makes quick strides away from the older one and back to his room. 

Somehow, part of him thinks that the past is past. And if Sehun does miss him, he would go after Jeonghan, hug him, tell him how sorry he was and how much he would want things to go back to when they were blissfully happy. 

But when he stops and looks over his shoulder, no one was running after him. 

A sob comes out of Jeonghan’s mouth, and he turns back and runs to his room.


	5. Sehun

Sehun enters Johnny’s suite and finds himself thrown in a flurry of activity. There are two makeup artists touching up the groomsmen while a photographer and a videographer roam the room, determined to capture every moment of this day.

He’s not the one getting married, but this scene brings out more butterflies in his stomach.

“Sehun!” Taeyong greets. He had just stepped out of the makeshift vanity table. “Looking good.”

“Thanks. You, too,” Sehun says, grinning back. “Where’s Johnny?”

“Inside his room, with his parents. Probably crying over whatever they’re talking about.” Taeyong chuckles.

“Oh, okay.” Sehun knows he’s not going to get Johnny alone for quite some time. He glances at the empty seat on the vanity, and the makeup artist looking at him expectantly. “I guess I’ll go get touched up while I wait for him.”

Soon, Mr. and Mrs. Seo emerge from the room. Mrs. Seo was dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief while her husband has his arms around her. Sehun rises from the vanity chair and approaches the couple, giving them a hug before heading inside Johnny’s room.

Johnny is sitting by the edge of his bed, all dressed up in his suit. He a letter on one hand and a velvet box on the other. His eyes are glassy, and Sehun can hear the occasional sniffs from his best friend.

Sehun knocks on the door. “Hey,” he says softly when Johnny turns to look at him.

Johnny brightens up. He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and stands up, giving Sehun a hug.

“You ready?” Sehun asks, patting his best friend on the back before pulling away.

“Yeah.” Johnny’s voice shakes, but he nods. He lets out a deep breath. “This is it.”

“Don’t get cold feet now.”

“Hey,” Johnny protests. “I’m gonna go down that aisle and promise Wendy that I’ll be by her side forever. There is no way I’m backing out.”

“Good.” Sehun smiles. He’s happy for Johnny. He really is. Johnny, who puts all his energy to loving and caring for someone, has finally found that one person who completes him. And Wendy, an equally caring person, is the missing piece to the puzzle in Johnny’s heart. If anyone deserves all the happiness in the world, it would be Johnny and Wendy.

Sehun wonders what it would be like to have something that Johnny and Wendy has. What is it like waking up, knowing you’re about to spend the rest of your life with that person next to you? Or what is it like, loving someone even if that someone tends to get on your nerves on certain occasions?

And in Sehun’s mind, that someone stood before him last night with tears in his eyes, and Sehun let him slip away once more.

“Hey, Sehun.”

“Sehun blinks. Johnny has concern all over his face. “What?”

“Things didn’t go well with Jeonghan last night, did it?” Johnny asks.

“A sigh escapes from his lips and he shakes his head. “But don’t worry about it,” he says. “You should worrying about your own wedding. I’ll figure something out.”

“Johnny hesitates, but nods in the end. He pats Sehun on the back. “One day, you are going to find someone out there who you love and will love you back. I’m rooting for you and Jeonghan, but …”

“ _“It might not be Jeonghan in the end,”_ might be Johnny’s unsaid words. Sehun knows it’s a possibility. And the thought hurts. “I’m gonna give it one last shot today,” he says. “If it doesn’t work out well, then at least I know I tried.”

“There’s a knock on the door, and Taeyong walks in. “They’re asking us to assemble now,” he announces. “Ready?”

Sehun glances at Johnny, who fixes his bowtie and takes a deep breath, putting on a smile. “Ready as I’ll ever be,” he replies, taking long strides out of his room, with Sehun following right behind him.

 

 

 

 

Everything about the wedding venue is simple yet perfect as Sehun imagined it would be. Gone are the plastic chairs and wooden platform that he had seen in the rehearsals two days ago. Instead, they are replaced by wooden chairs draped with white cloth, the aisle scattered with white flower petals. The officiant, meanwhile, is already standing below the wedding arch, also draped in white cloth.

The guests are already there, and Sehun could feel the anticipation. As the wedding coordinator organizes the line according to the order in the processional, he spares a glance at the sea of faces. He finds Jeonghan sitting at the back row, wearing a navy blazer. His breath hitches, and his heart aches.

But common sense is quick to return. He has best man duties to perform, and he needs to do his best for Johnny and Wendy throughout this ceremony. Jeonghan will have to wait.

He takes his place behind Johnny just as the wedding coordinator announces, “Places, everybody!”

Silence fills the venue, and the ensemble starts to play Pachelbel’s _Canon in D_. Sehun stands up straight and watches the procession walk forward—Mrs. Son first, then Johnny. And then it was his turn, and he makes confident strides, careful not to glance at Jeonghan on the way.

Sehun watches the rest of the entourage walk in. The groomsmen take their places, and the bridesmaids arrive in their azure blue dresses. Then comes in the five-year-old ring bearer, then Wendy’s sister, the matron of honor.

The music then stops for a few seconds before the ensemble plays _Bridal Chorus_.

Gasps fill the venue as Wendy walks in, and even a gasp of wonder escapes Sehun’s lips. She’s wearing a long, white strapless trumpet dress with a sweetheart neckline. Beneath the veil, he could see her eyes shine, her smile too wide as she clutches her bouquet tightly on one hand, letting her free arm loop around her father’s as they march.

Sehun looks at Johnny. His best friend is glancing upwards, blinking back tears. Sehun would have laughed at this, but he couldn’t. There must be a million things going on in Johnny’s head, especially when this is it. That’s the woman he’s going to spend forever with.

So instead, he places a hand behind Johnny, giving his best friend soothing pats.

The ceremonies flow smoothly from there. Johnny cries some more while Wendy reads her vows. The bride’s voice shakes, but she maintains her composure, looking at Johnny as if he holds her whole world.

When it was Johnny’s turn, he glances at Sehun, looking terrified. Sehun laughs at that, shakes his head, before handing an envelope to his best friend. Johnny sniffs and faces Wendy, and the groomsmen cheer.

And as Johnny reads his vows, Sehun’s eyes drift back to Jeonghan. It just so happens that Jeonghan has looked towards his direction as well, tears streaming down his face as he listens to the vows. And at that, the crowd disappears, and it’s just Jeonghan in the room.

At that moment, he knows—No, he’s more sure of it now. Yoon Jeonghan is the person he loves the most, and he can’t see anyone else with him.

And before today ends, he will talk to Jeonghan and tell him what he feels.

If it doesn’t work out …

He’s not going to think about it until it actually happens.

 

 

 

 

The wedding ends without any hitches. Sehun claps and cheers with the rest of the guests when Johnny lifts Wendy’s veil, and the newly wedded couple share a kiss. The ensemble plays the recessional music, and Sehun remembers to escort Wendy’s sister as they march out.

They have two more hours before the reception starts. Sehun wants to find Jeonghan, but his best man duties are far from over. The wedding coordinator wants the family and the entourage to stay so they can shoot the wedding video and take more photos.

So he puts on the best smile he can muster, and he does what the photographers and the videographers ask him to do. And when the shoot wraps up, Sehun practically sprints towards the reception venue, ignoring Johnny’s calls of “Good luck!”

The reception venue is on the beach, an elegant white fabric tents shielding the tables and the stage from any form of weather disturbances (though that’s highly unlikely). There were no guests in sight yet. It’s just the staff setting up and the wedding coordinator’s assistant barking orders.

He does see Jeonghan on the low platform, strumming his guitar as the rest of the ensemble sets up their instruments as well. Sehun feels his palms sweat, and he feels the urge to run away, but he doesn’t.

He takes a deep breath, and walks close to the stage. Fortunately for him, the group seems to have finished rehearsing. He hears soft words of “Thank you” and “See you in a bit”, then footsteps.

It’s getting hard to breathe at all, what with his heart pounding furiously. He has to do this, or he might lose Jeonghan forever.

“The reception isn’t until another hour.”

Sehun looks up and sees Jeonghan standing before him. He’s clutching his arm, expression cautious. Sehun stands up. “I know,” he says. “Can I talk to you?”

Jeonghan’s eyes widen. He looks over his shoulder, just as the rest of the ensemble disappear to a separate tent. Jeonghan then sighs. “Not here,” he says.

“Okay.”

Sehun and Jeonghan leave the tent and walk side by side on the beach, shoulders brushing from time to time. He contemplates on where they should talk—not too near so that no one from the wedding can eavesdrop on them, and not too far that they could end up rushing when the reception starts.

They find a bench on the grassy area of the beach, just near the palm trees. Sehun lets Jeonghan take a seat first, before sitting down himself. From their view, they can see the wedding tent, which means they could see guests coming in.

But he’ll worry about that later.

“I was a coward.” He glances at the younger one. Jeonghan meets his gaze, expression blank. Sehun resists the urge to take Jeonghan’s hands in his. “There were many things I wanted to say, but I couldn’t because I didn’t know how to say it. And most of the times, I know what I wanted to say, but I just couldn’t say it.”

“You were always never good with words,” Jeonghan says with a chuckle.

Sehun blushes at that. So far so good, though. “When we were together, there are times when you make decisions for me, saying it was for my own good. And sometimes, I wanted my space. I wanted to say it, but I couldn’t. Maybe because I didn’t want to start a fight, or maybe because I just couldn’t say it. Maybe a bit of both.”

Jeonghan is now looking at him, creases on his forehead.

“Everything bottled up, and it got to the point that I didn’t want to see you,” Sehun says. Why is his voice shaking? He exhales and clasps his hands. “But that night in my apartment, when you asked me for a reason, I knew I wanted you to stay.”

“You didn’t even come after me,” Jeonghan says, sniffing. “I waited for a phone call or a knock on my apartment door. I got nothing. It’s like you gave up on me. On us.”

“And I regret it every single day.” Sehun blinks when tears start blurring his vision. “I wish I could have been more honest. I wish I could have been braver.”

“And you think being honest now would bring us together?” Jeonghan blinks, his eyes glassy.

“I’m not expecting anything,” Sehun says, practically chokes out. His chest stings, and he tries to speak again, but he couldn’t. He lowers his head as tears stream down his cheeks. “I’m sorry, Jeonghan. For not trusting you enough with my feelings, and for letting you go.

“And I still love you.” He meets Jeonghan’s gaze once more, the younger one breaking down in sobs at those words. “I know it’s not fair of me, but if you choose me again, I’ll be more honest. I’ll make things right.”

Jeonghan doesn’t reply to that, and they didn’t have any more time to talk. They hear the chatter getting louder, and the guests starting to pour inside the tent. The younger one wipes his eyes and hastily stands up. “I have to go,” he says.

“Right.” Sehun nods. He tries to smile, but ends up grimacing. “Good luck out there.”

“Thanks.” Jeonghan does manage a smile before turning his back and walking away.

Sehun stays on the bench for a few more minutes, in an effort to calm himself down. When he thinks he’s okay, he looks up at the sky. He feels strangely light, the lightest he had felt for the past four years.

He’s still not sure what will happen with him and Jeonghan, but at least he knows he said what he wanted to say.

Everything is up to Jeonghan now.

He rushes to the restroom of a nearby restaurant to splash water on his face and make himself look presentable. He then runs back to the tent, running into the rest of the entourage just in time.

Jeonghan has already taken his place at the center of the low stage, guitar in hand. He could have sworn the younger man glanced at him, but Sehun didn’t quite catch it.

Soon, the lights dim, and music starts to play. The host calls Johnny and Wendy, and the newly wedded couple runs inside the tent as the guests cheer. Sehun forgets about his earlier conversation and cheers along.

Dinner was served, and by the time the waiters take the empty plates after the main course, which Sehun taps his glass with his fork, to get everybody’s attention. Everyone falls silent, and they all looks at him expectantly. Sehun stands up and opens his phone to his notes, where his speech is.

Unlike Johnny, Sehun had his speech planned out months ago. He already knew what he was going to say: that Johnny is an amazing friend who will go out of his way to make the people that he cares about happy. And he knows Johnny will go an extra mile for Wendy.

And Sehun talks about Johnny and Wendy, and how they are two imperfect people that are perfect for each other. In the back of his mind, Sehun wants something that Johnny and Wendy have: being with the love of your life.

(Sehun might have glanced quickly at Jeonghan, but he doesn’t see the younger one’s reaction.)

“A toast,” Sehun says, as he raises his glass. He checks if everyone else in the room has their glasses raised, before continuing, “To Johnny and Wendy.”

The rest of the night was a flurry of activity. Family members made speeches, which made the couple cry. Johnny and Wendy then cut the cake, and the dance floor opens afterwards. Sehun watches as Jeonghan sits up straighter, guitar ready, just as Johnny and Wendy stop at the center of the room for their dance.

Jeonghan, as always, has the voice of an angel. This time, in the dimmed lights and Wendy’s arm around Johnny as they sway to the music, his voice is much sweeter, perfect for the occasion. Sehun closes his eyes, and remembers those times when Jeonghan would sing to him: sometimes when they’re cuddling, sometimes when he’s in the kitchen, sometimes when they’re just walking aimlessly on their dates.

He doesn’t know if he’ll have that again, so he makes sure to remember everything.

He’s nudged back to reality when he hears a round of applause and that the couple has finished dancing with their parents. Jeonghan and the ensemble bow after applause is directed to them, and the DJ takes over with more upbeat music.

The next thing he knows is that Johnny and Wendy have pulled him up, dragging him to the dance floor. Almost everyone was already on their feet, the entourage pulling off some dance challenge that has Sehun wheezing from laughter.

As they watch Taeyong and Seulgi take each other on, Sehun feels an arm around his shoulders. It’s Johnny, lips stretched so wide, and it’s contagious. “Congrats, Johnny,” he says.

“Thanks,” Johnny says. “In the meantime, _you_ look out of it. And I’m worried.”

“Well …” Sehun shakes his head. “I don’t know yet.”

Johnny pats him on the back. “You’ll be okay, whatever happens,” he says.

“Thanks, man.”

Wendy calls Johnny, and Johnny gives him another pat on the back before excusing himself. At that moment, the DJ plays something slower, and the people in the dance floor pair into couples.

Sehun doesn’t think he has a place in the dance floor, so he makes his way back to his table.

He does not expect Jeonghan to be standing before him, hands on his pockets.

He freezes on his tracks and almost bumps into Jaehyun and one of the female guests.

Jeonghan takes a deep breath and takes a few steps until they’re a foot away from each other. “Would you like to dance?” he asks. He says it so casually, as if those past four years, those arguments and tears, were all forgotten.

And Sehun finds that glimmer of hope. He smiles and nods, takes Jeonghan’s hand, and leads him to the dance floor. Jeonghan wraps his arms around Sehun’s neck, and Sehun’s hands rest on the younger one’s hips.

They stay silent as they dance, occasionally meeting gazes then quickly looking away. Sehun wants nothing but to bury his face on Jeonghan’s shoulders, take in the younger one’s scent, and never let go. But they haven’t finished what they have talked about earlier. He has to wait.

“I’m scared,” Jeonghan says, finally breaking the silence. They meet gazes once more. Jeonghan looks like he’s about to cry, and it’s breaking Sehun’s heart.

“Scared of what?” Sehun asks. His grip on Jeonghan tightens.

Jeonghan gulps. “Of us,” he says. “What if we get tired of each other again? What if I push you away and you bottle up your emotions again and we end up hating each other?”

“I don’t know.” Sehun doesn’t want that to happen. His hands move to caress Jeonghan’s face, and he sighs in relief when the younger one doesn’t pull away. “But I want to try again. And this time, I’ll fight harder for us.”

He hears Jeonghan sigh, feels the younger one move closer until their chests are touching. Sehun can feel his heart pounding against Jeonghan’s, or maybe that’s both of their hearts beating erratically?

“For the record,” Jeonghan whispers, and it’s only then Sehun realizes how their lips are close as well, “I missed you, too.”

Sehun would have cried right then and there, but Jeonghan leans in. He closes his eyes and drowns himself in the moment, of kissing Jeonghan after what feels like forever and of swaying slowly in the dance floor.

Time slows down, and Sehun soars.


	6. Jeonghan

Jeonghan returns to consciousness with an awareness of something heavy on his side. He frowns, but his eyes remain closed as he figures out where that weight is coming from. But sleep still clouds his mind, so he ends up groaning and pushing that weight away.

In return, someone groans. The weight turns out to be an arm, its hand quickly grasping Jeonghan by the hip, pulling him closer.

Sleep immediately leaves Jeonghan. His eyes open, then widen when he is greeted by Sehun’s sleeping face. The older one’s eyes are closed, his mouth hangs open as soft snores come out.

Jeonghan must be really giddy and in love, because that sleeping face just made waking up worth it.

Sehun starts to stir. He opens his eyes, blinks a few times, and smiles, the edge of his lips stretching to his cheeks. “Hey,” he says, his voice hoarse.

Jeonghan smiles and brings a hand to caress Sehun’s cheek. “Good morning.”

Sehun’s expression softens, and Jeonghan could have sworn butterflies start to flutter in his stomach. But before he can say another word, the older one moves closer and presses their foreheads together. Jeonghan closes his eyes as their lips meet, and he basically melts.

Eventually, they pull away for air. (Jeonghan doesn’t know why this was necessary.) Sehun lets out a breathy laugh, a hand on Jeonghan’s. Jeonghan laughs as well, letting their fingers intertwine.

“I’m glad last night wasn’t a dream,” Sehun says. His low voice sends chills down Jeonghan’s spine.

“Me, too.”

Sehun sighs, pressing his lips on Jeonghan’s forehead, then the tip of his nose, his cheeks, his lips. Jeonghan feels his toes curl for every brush of Sehun’s lips. God, he misses this.

They’re only interrupted by a growling sound, which apparently came from Sehun’s stomach. They both burst into laughter, with Sehun burying his face on Jeonghan’s shoulder in embarrassment.

“We should get something to eat,” Sehun says, rolling to the side of the bed to get up.

It’s tempting to get breakfast, but the softness of his bed makes Jeonghan think otherwise. So he groans and rolls over, clutching a pillow close to his chest.

He hears Sehun chuckle. “I’ll order room service.”

Jeonghan sighs in relief. “Thank you,” he mumbles, closing his eyes once more.

He must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he knows, Sehun is shaking him awake. Jeonghan would have protested, but he smells bacon and pancakes, and he instantly gets up. It’s his favorite breakfast.

“I can’t believe you remembered I like bacon and pancakes,” Jeonghan says when he gets up. Sehun has already set up their plates on the table in the balcony. From their view, the sun is already up, and he could see a couple of people strolling along the beach.

Sehun smiles and shrugs. “Well, you’re kind of hard to forget.”

“Oh my god,” Jeonghan blurts, and a giggle escapes from his lips.

They eat breakfast in silence. There’s not much to talk about at the moment, and Jeonghan doesn’t feel the need to bring up something, at least not know. He’s content with the mere presence of Sehun, and the thought of Sehun back in his life.

It’s not going to be easy. But Sehun promised that he is going to fight harder for them.

Jeonghan promises he will, too.

It is when they are back inside that Jeonghan says something. The thought lingered yesterday, when he and Sehun talked before the reception, but he only remembered it now.

“I’m sorry I pushed you away.”

Sehun blinks at him.

“You said you kept your emotions bottled up. I played a part in that.” Jeonghan feels himself grimace. “I shouldn’t have pushed you. I should have been less nagging. I should have asked you what you felt instead of considering just my own feelings. I’m sorry.”

“We both made mistakes,” Sehun says.

Jeonghan nods. “But now we can move forward.”

Sehun takes Jeonghan’s hands. “I promise I’ll express my feelings better,” he says.

“And I promise to listen and to consider your feelings,” Jeonghan replies. A laugh escapes his lips. “God, why do I feel like we’re making wedding vows?”

“I blame Johnny and Wendy.” Sehun laughs as well before wrapping his arms around Jeonghan.

They stay like that until Jeonghan remembers that he has to pack. He’s scheduled to leave for the airport in three hours, and he hasn’t had a head start in packing just yet. So he shoos Sehun away to get changed while he organizes his belongings.

He gets the job done, but he doesn’t want to leave yet. Hawaii is paradise, for many reasons. Going back to Seoul means going back to normalcy. And with everything that has happened this week, who wants to go back to normal?

If he has anything to look forward to, though, it’s being able to see Sehun again.

And for that, he can’t wait.

He parks all his luggage near the door just as the doorbell rings. Jeonghan peeks through the peephole and sees Sehun standing outside, wearing an aloha shirt and shorts. He smiles and opens the door. “Hey,” he says, breathless, as if this is the first time he has seen Sehun again.

“Hey.” Sehun sounds equally breathless. He steps forward and pulls Jeonghan in a hug. “You’re leaving,” he says, burying his face on the younger one’s shoulder.

“Don’t say it like we won’t be seeing each other again,” Jeonghan scoffs, but he wraps his arms around Sehun anyway.

“I know, but …”

Sehun trails off, but Jeonghan gets what he means.

“You know,” Jeonghan sighs, “I still have a couple of hours left before the airport shuttle arrives.”

Sehun pulls away and presses their foreheads together. “We could spend those two hours making out.”

Jeonghan chuckles, wrapping his arms around Sehun’s neck. “I like the sound of that,” he whispers, pulling Sehun close so that their lips can meet.

 

 

 

 

The eighteen hours on air was torture, though fortunately, Johnny and Wendy have booked him a first-class flight back to Seoul, so Jeonghan had enough room to wander and enough things to keep him occupied. Still, he heaves a sigh of relief when he steps out of the plane. He’s home.

Half an hour later, he walks out of the Arrivals area and quickly spots Seungcheol, holding a placard with his name on it. He beams; it feels like he hasn’t seen his best friend in ages. Jeonghan practically runs and crashes into Seungcheol as he tries to hug the older one despite the barrier.

Jeonghan feels exhaustion taking over during the car ride home. But Seungcheol asks questions about the trip, and he feels obliged to answer. So he talks about how beautiful Hawaii is, how magnificent it looks from above despite the exhausting two-hour hike, how everyone in the wedding was nice and accommodating.

“Sehun was there,” he says. He ends up looking out of the car window as he says it. He doesn’t know how Seungcheol will react. After all, his best friend was beside himself when the breakup happened.

There is a long period of silence. Jeonghan ends up glancing at Seungcheol anyway. The older one’s eyes are on the road, and it’s hard to make out what he’s thinking.

When the car stops during a red light, Seungcheol looks at him, expression blank. “Yeah,” he says. “Jisoo might have mentioned to me a couple of days ago.”

Jeonghan curses under his breath. Hand it to Jisoo to spoil what he’s about to say. But anyway … “We talked,” he continues. “And we’ve gotten back together. I know you don’t like him right now, and I know a week is too short to sort things out, but we’re giving it another shot.”

The car starts again, and Jeonghan almost couldn’t hear Seungcheol sigh from the sound made by the engine. “Are you happy about this, though?”

Jeonghan doesn’t even have to think about it. He just nods.

“Well, if that’s the case, then I can’t object.” Seungcheol shrugs, a smile on his face. “Although if he hurts you again, then I’m gonna have to kick his ass.”

He laughs at that, his hand finding his way on Seungcheol’s nape. “You’re the best.”

 

 

 

 

Jeonghan feels the exhaustion creeping over him, and he couldn’t be any happier when he flops on his bed as soon as he and Seungcheol get home. He would usually fall asleep as soon as he lies down, but tonight is an exception. This time, he’s sure it’s because of the jet lag.

He gives up on sleep altogether and gets up, groaning when he reads “10:13 p.m.” on the clock. He glances at the luggage on the edge of his bed and decides he could start unpacking. Worst case scenario is that he ends up sleeping while unpacking, which is probably not a bad thing.

Unpacking does not happen, however, because his phone beeps. Jeonghan would have ignored it—who calls at this time of night, anyway?—but instincts tell him to check the caller ID.

He does not regret it.

Jeonghan immediately gets up and sprints out of the apartment, forgetting that it’s late at night and he had probably woken up Seungcheol by slamming the door on his way out. His feet are quick, his palms sweating as he swats the elevator button to the ground floor. He grins, heart pounding more on anticipation and less on the run he had done.

As the elevator doors open, he catches sight of him, and Jeonghan’s breath hitches.

Sehun is standing right in front of him, one hand on the handle of his luggage, and another hand on his phone. The dark circles under his eyes, but there is a gentle smile on his face that makes Jeonghan’s breath hitch.

This is real.

“Sehun!”

He says this a little too loudly than he intended, but it elicits the same effect. Sehun turns to his direction, and his smile widens. It’s brighter than the dim lights of the apartment lobby, and all Jeonghan wants is to bask in it.

Sehun lets go of his luggage and pockets his phone in his pocket. His arms stretch out, just in time for Jeonghan to throw himself towards the older one.

It’s only been a day and a half, but god, he missed Sehun.

Sehun pulls away and runs a hand through Jeonghan’s cheek. “Hey,” he says softly.

And Jeonghan beams. “Hey,” he says. He leans in, and Sehun meets him halfway.

He’s excited and scared at the same time. Being back together with Sehun means throwing himself in the highs and lows of loving someone, of second-guessing, of comfortable silences, of slow dancing at the most random moments.

It’s scary, but he has Sehun with him to dive back in this relationship.

When they pull away, Sehun presses their foreheads together and takes Jeonghan’s hand in his. “Can I stay for a while?” he asks.

Sehun doesn’t have to ask. “Of course,” Jeonghan says. “Let’s go, sleepyhead.”

They share one more kiss before they head for the elevator, hands swaying as they walk.

-End-


End file.
